LobotomyLobotomyblank/free9-14-114 stanzasshoved down into that holeback upturned like old leaveslike the ones i saw in timeswhen ancient freedom reignedmy spine is played out of tunelike xylophones been unhingedclouds fill my head up to the brimand now i'm carving out the draina few more nights alone will iceand clean my forehead for the drilli'll siphon out the heaviness you leftand pour free molten shackle's metalthere will be new calm: new lifeand you can dissolve into memoryi will continue on however i pleasethe unsatisfiable will have no say
ExplodeExplodeblank/free9-8-1110 stanzasi'm pushed between cracksdrowning deep within sidewalkswhere people like to crush meAGAIN. AGAIN.IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.MY BRAIN CLAWS OUT OF MY HEAD.la, la
no one caresgive me a gun to end my egosend my ashes up in the Minnesota windAGAIN. AGAIN.IT WON'T FUCKING STOP.LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME ALONE.come back, teachercome back, wielder of salvationreturn to me and to my constant decayingAGAIN. AGAIN.TORMENT AND LAUGHTERLURKS BEHIND EVERY SINGLE WALL.no one's here to save meand no one's here to kill mei am a cloud in a sky of planesAGAIN. AGAIN.I AM BURNING. I AM FREEZING.I DON'T WALK ON THE PLANET IN MY HEAD.maybe i should stop eating againmaybe this isn't as bad as i want it to bemaybe i'm just craving my own complete demiseTHERE WAS SO MUCH MORETHAT WE WERE READY TO DO.AND NO ONE WILL BE CRUSHED BY MY FALL.
Far From GoneFar From Goneblank/free8-28-113 stanzasparts of me were dangledlike ornaments in the winteron the trees over this pavementmy shoes land in my old footprintsand there's a piece of me still buriedunder the paths my feet have worni've climbed this hill a billionth timebut i'm not ready for the final trodthis place is far from being gone
WildernessWildernessblank/free8-25-117 stanzasboars know not of their backsideshow the stench disrupts the feedingof the swans in their clear poolsyou are a lazy, paranoid loserwho needs to get up off his egoand be the man that i yearn fora foul and fouling decision slithersnear: at the heels of my quiet feetsilent in their efforts to stay freei will laugh with my greatest friendwho i've missed laughs with for agesfor a Time that drinks me like millenniathe snake that sheds its tired skinwill be peeled free of another gripanother deadly wrap that constrictsyou'd better get your fucking sad actmore together than it's ever beenor i will toss you to consume new preyi am tired of bending to demandsof one who deserves no love from meso you go ahead: let your stink spread
Paradox: ExistParadox: Existblank/free8-25-115 stanzasyou're getting married, i guessand i'm not invited for receptionsbecause i'll be lying cold and deadin arms of loathing and frustrationyou're looking at my chestseeing the lovely gift you gavesilver wings and beating hearta pair that let me soar higher: freeyou're
You're Not Embracing Methough i dream often of your armswrapped here in familiarity's hugyour fiancé forbids such salvationyou're waving goodbye to meafter such short, awkward laughsyou say your signature farewelland i feel tears well in my eyesyou're there in my memoriesand, friend, i miss you so dearlyyou showed me a light back thenthat i wish would shine on me now
Six Million Shards of GlassSix Million Shards of Glassblank/free7-17-115 stanzasSmash.I am attacked.Glass huddles in my wounds.I spend fifteen minutesHarvesting piece by tiny pieceLodged deep inside carpeted rain forests.FrustrationIs the smallest sparking speckPeeking out at me from the depths.I pick like slave in field.My hunched spine is teemingWith glass bubbling between vertebrae.Fingertips hold the particlesThat make the printed ends itch.I rub at timid tears, and I am blinded.
Praise and PromisePraise and Promiseblank/free6-29-1122 stanzasi've dabbled in depressionand sunk myself in many a seai've fastened on my own shacklesand i've stared as my dreams vacatedi've been puzzled by outcomesastonished by all the frayed endsi've been addicted to crawling backi've seen my eyes overflow with emptyright now i feel a little sickbecause my right is falling leftbut i'm doing my best to hold it highand convince myself not to miss youi try the oldest of brainwashesdetergent to cleanse the yearningand soapy sleep to shake the thoughtthat the good shouldn't have been lostthere were bads running prominentso i lost the want to love the wholeincluding what made me happiestlike simply being held close to youi miss smiling against your skinand when your arms enveloped methat all the hate and hurt i stockpiledsimply vanished and i was in lovebut i hated saying that i was sorryespecially when i felt no such remorseand i loathed feeling trapped in therelike bi