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June 25, 2010
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Hello, Zach.


I heard that you're working now, finally. You've only wanted to get another job for, what, a little over six months? Anyway, I hope you're doing well and that you're happy with wherever you are in life. As for me, I guess I'm not doing as well as I should be. Two months has felt like two years, to say the least. I haven't seen you in two weeks, and even that has felt like an eternity. What I guess I'm trying to say is that I miss you terribly, and life has become very dull without your stupid jokes and your way of making everyone around you smile.

You don't have to say it; I already know that you don't miss me in the least, and that you're glad that I'm out of your life for good. You don't need to pity me or sympathize in any way. You don't even need to speak. I just like to know that you exist. Thats enough for me. You're everywhere to me anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter if you're around or not. I sure would like it if you were here, though. I feel safe and comfortable just being near you, even if it makes you feel angry and uneasy. Believe me, though, I've really tried to move on since you left. I actually have a new boyfriend now, even though I'm having trouble making myself have feelings for him.

Ya know how I make you feel uncomfortable sometimes? He does that to me. Makes me feel weird. I don't like it. I tried for a little while to make myself replace you with him, but you and I both know that you can't be replaced. I think he knows that I miss you, though. Either that or he's just stupid. Not everyone understands me like you do. Hell, you've predicted my every move since we broke up (you left me). You foresaw everything I did before I did it, and yet you were never willing to sit down and talk things out. I think you should know, though, that I've changed a lot in these last two months. I've almost regained my sense of self that you took away, and I think I'm much smarter than I used to be.

For some reason, and this is only sometimes (I think), I'll try to do something or I'll think of something, and my body won't respond. It's like I'm living in a shell. I guess it's hard to explain, but that's how it feels. I miss you. A lot. I could go off on a rant about the specific things that I miss and that I love about you, but you don't care about any of that anyway so I won't waste my time. I'm always going to be here, so if you ever need me, I won't hesitate to help. If you ever need a friend, I will be there for you until the end of time. I know I've said this before, but the most beautiful moments of my life were spent with you, and I wouldn't trade those memories for the world, even though they really hurt sometimes (every day).

I know that you're probably very busy with your new, happier life, but I just wanted to let you know that, contrary to popular belief, I am still alive and well. That, and I wanted to remind you of how much I still care. I think I care too much sometimes, which is funny, because it's kind of the opposite of how things used to be (especially with us). But I won't keep you much longer. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I am a better person now because of the time I spent with you, and I hope you're better off now, too.


Love (Forever),

Jessica
SOMETHING TELLS ME I SHOULDN'T BE POSTING THIS.

but i'm doing it anyway. it's been a shitty week, and i feel like being obnoxious and obsessive and stupid.

BITE. ME.

[lawl this looks like a fucked up rp post xDDD]
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:iconariakh:
ariakh Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
god DAMN i know how you feel, that 'living in a shell' part. it fucking sucks -_-
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:iconbefera:
Befera Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010  Student General Artist
yes it does.
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:iconariakh:
ariakh Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
yaarrgh -mob hug- xD
Reply
:iconbefera:
Befera Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010  Student General Artist
grahrahrahrahrah
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