The Pain Changes
Blank/Free
6-26-10
16 stanzas
the pain changes
i try to wipe away the clouds
but i can't come close to reaching them
the hurt expands
across my dull horizon now
darkness calls to hold my soul forever
the rage enflames
it's not worth holding back now
anger always finds its own way out
the infection spreads
i only desire the unattainable
as i lie here replaying his calm voice
the sadness festers
wrenching tears from my eyes
as if they were rare, precious jewels
the silence confines
it's so boring in this tiny box
but i just can't let my sick self escape
the road falls away
my aspirations have been lost
misplaced in the dust he left behind
the puzzle is complete
i have no need to investigate
nothing remains for me to uncover
the fire fizzles out
i have no fuel left to sustain me
for the logs we stacked were burned
the storm dies
thunder ceases it's applause
leaving only the stillness of its passing
the light vanishes
and nightfall brings the tears
i'm a creature who's identity is masked
the routine continues
burning away at my fragile flesh
tearing holes in the fabric of my soul
the memory lingers
like the fog seems to do
hovering, disabling any restraint
the hope flexes
one day strong, another weak
if falseness keeps me alive, i hoard it
the love overwhelms
as if tornadoes could sprout
down from these thick grey clouds
the pain changes
and i'm still learning to accept
that i can't make Time stop for me