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believe me, i can almost taste it:
that crisp air - crisping still
of the homeland i reluctantly left
a place hanging from my heart
like the hook in Salmon's lip:
metal, cold, with a lake water taste
all those memories i've gathered
like stones; like shells; like flowers
i can smell those times, even now
believe me, i can close my eyes
and see myself: looking out
my window at the maple trees
i recall how hard i had begged
for budding leaves to grow for me
as if the sleeping beings could hear
the summer air still stings, you know
from back then, you remember
and i watch myself cry on the stairs
believe me, there were better times
yes, tart and cinnamon autumns
when school meant to stand in windows
the muddy springs whisper things now
like i should be redeeming a prize
for the anniversary of the day i died
familiar places hold gifts for me
some hands are old - others skeletal
bearing hearts that stopped beating
believe me, not all is that o
i push myself down
and crawl to my destinations
on bleeding palms and tearing knees
i resist doing what had
filled me full of pride in me
pride i needed to keep walking straight
i subdue and withhold
but what is it that i'm holding?
all i have here is what i truly think is real
i dump out my head
and i find all kinds of fish
with rolled up maps in their stomachs
i fear and i hold back
all the words that have been
begging me and tugging at my sleeves
i learn so much now
and with every passing day
i morph those fish into scaled birds
i roll over and over
and i collect life on my skin
absorbing it all into me for processing
i shake the feathers
from my eyes and ringing ears
i refuse to cower in the shadow of loss
i want to set free my brainwords
but is that so wrong of me?
why am i scared of what i've always done?
To Cure ParanoiaTo Cure Paranoia
doors creak open, seem concealing
windows blow dark curtains in
into a room where nothing sleeps
tension lives where peace had been
you've been scarred, i see it plainly
but i'm not the one who wronged you
so lift yourself up from these floors
that splinter your insides black and blue
doors creak open, but it's just me, see?
and i'm here to take you from your hell
i will not I WILL NOT hurt you, my love
i bear no monsters for you to duel
Red Riding HoodI want to believe people so badly when they say they won’t bite
that I contemplate climbing into their smiling jaws
thinking that it might be better to be split in two than left hanging.
But always, I draw my red hood and flit back into the forest
running in the shadows of pathways, never stepping into clearings
because I’ve spent my whole life in the wilderness
and I still can’t tell the wolves from the woodsmen.
You Were Not An Aquarium BoySea-glass became your bones,
brine your blood, and seashells
melded into your skin.
You were not quite an ocean
when you said "This is your sign to love me."
My body was like a building;
tall, cold, almost unbreakable.
I was metallic and sharp,
towering over your waters.
I remember taking your hand in mine,
conch and coral shells scrubbing
my skyscraper wrists, and laughing
about how one day you would
submerge every last bit of me.
Your lips, riddled with argonauts,
found my cheek and I cringed
at the coarseness.
You asked if they bothered me
and I finally told you "I
think I love you."
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More