Gift Horses

Gift Horses
blank/free
9-26-11
9 stanzas

knees beaten to the floor
i called out in desperation
"i can't do this on my own"
and so i was sent a savior

i am burdened by a privilege
and i wonder if i should run
while this alien hand clasps
my unsure, trembling conscience

deep behind my withheld truths
my dependence rests with the other:
the red bird: the Cardinal King
one i'd also took for granted

kindness beckons from new skies
but i'm a billion miles from there
floating in space, i'm screaming
caught between two planets

possibility of retry damns me
sets my temples aflame now
as my obsessive head machine
picks at the details of my suffering

i am handed gift-wrapped solace
time and time and Time again
i regress and wish for familiar
now that i'm freed of my chains

i had complained to the world
said i'd been burned by misery
told everyone how i wanted to flee
and now i beg for a hero's welcome?

unappreciative, i sob inside this sorrow
knowing how i can't be satisfied
the hole in my soul is unquenchable
and bitter guilt gnaws at my heels

this companion i've been shoved to
looks upon me with admiring eyes
and i am left sickened to the core
inspecting the teeth of my steed