|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
I Want to Go HomeI Want to Go Home
all of those times
i said to a vacant bedroom
"i want to go home"
what i really meant
all of those nights i cried
was "i want to turn back time"
because i went back
i saw that home was alive
and i saw the people i loved
there weren't any spirals
or arrows pointing forward
all i could taste were goodbyes
i went back home
like i asked for in my sleep
but my mentor wasn't there
it's as if i saw a picture
for just one fleeting minute
and i swore that it smiled at me
you left me here to face this!
you left me alone!
i repeat to my dimpled ceiling
"i want to go home"
but that place is lost forever
shoved down into that hole
back upturned like old leaves
like the ones i saw in times
when ancient freedom reigned
my spine is played out of tune
like xylophones been unhinged
clouds fill my head up to the brim
and now i'm carving out the drain
a few more nights alone will ice
and clean my forehead for the drill
i'll siphon out the heaviness you left
and pour free molten shackle's metal
there will be new calm: new life
and you can dissolve into memory
i will continue on however i please
the unsatisfiable will have no say
i'm pushed between cracks
drowning deep within sidewalks
where people like to crush me
IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.
MY BRAIN CLAWS OUT OF MY HEAD.
la, la no one cares
give me a gun to end my ego
send my ashes up in the Minnesota wind
IT WON'T FUCKING STOP.
LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME ALONE.
come back, teacher
come back, wielder of salvation
return to me and to my constant decaying
TORMENT AND LAUGHTER
LURKS BEHIND EVERY SINGLE WALL.
no one's here to save me
and no one's here to kill me
i am a cloud in a sky of planes
I AM BURNING. I AM FREEZING.
I DON'T WALK ON THE PLANET IN MY HEAD.
maybe i should stop eating again
maybe this isn't as bad as i want it to be
maybe i'm just craving my own complete demise
THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE
THAT WE WERE READY TO DO.
AND NO ONE WILL BE CRUSHED BY MY FALL.
Far From GoneFar From Gone
parts of me were dangled
like ornaments in the winter
on the trees over this pavement
my shoes land in my old footprints
and there's a piece of me still buried
under the paths my feet have worn
i've climbed this hill a billionth time
but i'm not ready for the final trod
this place is far from being gone
boars know not of their backsides
how the stench disrupts the feeding
of the swans in their clear pools
you are a lazy, paranoid loser
who needs to get up off his ego
and be the man that i yearn for
a foul and fouling decision slithers
near: at the heels of my quiet feet
silent in their efforts to stay free
i will laugh with my greatest friend
who i've missed laughs with for ages
for a Time that drinks me like millennia
the snake that sheds its tired skin
will be peeled free of another grip
another deadly wrap that constricts
you'd better get your fucking sad act
more together than it's ever been
or i will toss you to consume new prey
i am tired of bending to demands
of one who deserves no love from me
so you go ahead: let your stink spread
Paradox: ExistParadox: Exist
you're getting married, i guess
and i'm not invited for receptions
because i'll be lying cold and dead
in arms of loathing and frustration
you're looking at my chest
seeing the lovely gift you gave
silver wings and beating heart
a pair that let me soar higher: free
you're You're Not Embracing Me
though i dream often of your arms
wrapped here in familiarity's hug
your fiancé forbids such salvation
you're waving goodbye to me
after such short, awkward laughs
you say your signature farewell
and i feel tears well in my eyes
you're there in my memories
and, friend, i miss you so dearly
you showed me a light back then
that i wish would shine on me now
Keep in Touch!