I Want to Go HomeI Want to Go Homeblank/free9-20-118 stanzasall of those timesi said to a vacant bedroom"i want to go home"what i really meantall of those nights i criedwas "i want to turn back time"because i went backi saw that home was aliveand i saw the people i lovedthere weren't any spiralsor arrows pointing forwardall i could taste were goodbyesi went back homelike i asked for in my sleepbut my mentor wasn't thereit's as if i saw a picturefor just one fleeting minuteand i swore that it smiled at meyou left me here to face this!you left me alone!why?!i repeat to my dimpled ceiling"i want to go home"but that place is lost forever
LobotomyLobotomyblank/free9-14-114 stanzasshoved down into that holeback upturned like old leaveslike the ones i saw in timeswhen ancient freedom reignedmy spine is played out of tunelike xylophones been unhingedclouds fill my head up to the brimand now i'm carving out the draina few more nights alone will iceand clean my forehead for the drilli'll siphon out the heaviness you leftand pour free molten shackle's metalthere will be new calm: new lifeand you can dissolve into memoryi will continue on however i pleasethe unsatisfiable will have no say
ExplodeExplodeblank/free9-8-1110 stanzasi'm pushed between cracksdrowning deep within sidewalkswhere people like to crush meAGAIN. AGAIN.IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.MY BRAIN CLAWS OUT OF MY HEAD.la, la
no one caresgive me a gun to end my egosend my ashes up in the Minnesota windAGAIN. AGAIN.IT WON'T FUCKING STOP.LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME ALONE.come back, teachercome back, wielder of salvationreturn to me and to my constant decayingAGAIN. AGAIN.TORMENT AND LAUGHTERLURKS BEHIND EVERY SINGLE WALL.no one's here to save meand no one's here to kill mei am a cloud in a sky of planesAGAIN. AGAIN.I AM BURNING. I AM FREEZING.I DON'T WALK ON THE PLANET IN MY HEAD.maybe i should stop eating againmaybe this isn't as bad as i want it to bemaybe i'm just craving my own complete demiseTHERE WAS SO MUCH MORETHAT WE WERE READY TO DO.AND NO ONE WILL BE CRUSHED BY MY FALL.
Far From GoneFar From Goneblank/free8-28-113 stanzasparts of me were dangledlike ornaments in the winteron the trees over this pavementmy shoes land in my old footprintsand there's a piece of me still buriedunder the paths my feet have worni've climbed this hill a billionth timebut i'm not ready for the final trodthis place is far from being gone
WildernessWildernessblank/free8-25-117 stanzasboars know not of their backsideshow the stench disrupts the feedingof the swans in their clear poolsyou are a lazy, paranoid loserwho needs to get up off his egoand be the man that i yearn fora foul and fouling decision slithersnear: at the heels of my quiet feetsilent in their efforts to stay freei will laugh with my greatest friendwho i've missed laughs with for agesfor a Time that drinks me like millenniathe snake that sheds its tired skinwill be peeled free of another gripanother deadly wrap that constrictsyou'd better get your fucking sad actmore together than it's ever beenor i will toss you to consume new preyi am tired of bending to demandsof one who deserves no love from meso you go ahead: let your stink spread
Paradox: ExistParadox: Existblank/free8-25-115 stanzasyou're getting married, i guessand i'm not invited for receptionsbecause i'll be lying cold and deadin arms of loathing and frustrationyou're looking at my chestseeing the lovely gift you gavesilver wings and beating hearta pair that let me soar higher: freeyou're
You're Not Embracing Methough i dream often of your armswrapped here in familiarity's hugyour fiancé forbids such salvationyou're waving goodbye to meafter such short, awkward laughsyou say your signature farewelland i feel tears well in my eyesyou're there in my memoriesand, friend, i miss you so dearlyyou showed me a light back thenthat i wish would shine on me now